Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Posted by Meeta K
There are some things that you may do unknowingly or intentionally that really bother men. They can easily turn a good thing into a lost opportunity. These things are powerful enough that they can be the reason a man stops calling after one, two or three perfect dates. So keep these things in mind when you're with your man..
10. Pretending To Be Pure & Chaste
Many women pretend to be pure and innocent. More likely than not, this isn't the case. It just comes off as dishonest. You're entitled to have just as much fun as a man, and shouldn't feel ashamed about it. Men would prefer it if you would be yourself. Pretending to be pure won't make you appear more attractive. To be honest, men actually prefer women who've had some good experiences with men and sex.
9. Critical Of Other Women
Ever notice how some women can be overly critical of other women? You may have even found yourself doing this from time to time. Women love to nitpick at everything about another woman from hair and make up, to the color of her shoes. But let's be real for a moment. Only a woman will notice if another woman's outfit isn't perfectly coordinated, or if her purse is out of fashion. It comes across as catty and very immature to men.
Jealousy is a big problem and will send even the best men packing. If you're constantly asking him where he's been, and who he was with, you don't trust him. Trust is an essential component in a healthy relationship. Some men simply second guess everything a man says, and turn his words into an argument. If a man compliments you, don't fight him about it. If a man feels that he can't speak to you or be around you because everything he says or does (or doesn't do) will be used against him, he will only resent you. This is a common condition among many women. This is why for many women it raises a red flag if their man spends time with another woman. She doesn't want him associating or being friendly with any female but herself. In time men will get tired of this and move on.
7. Being Needy
Now, men appreciate a woman who enjoys her man and shows him. But this is a very different thing from being needy. However some women are very insecure and need their man to hold them and tell them everything is ok. Once in a while is understandable, but when this is a everyday occurrence, it is a turnoff. No man dreams about being an emotional crutch.
Ever here the phrase "Thou dost protest too much"? Well ironically that's the case here. Many women who proclaim from mountaintops about how independent they are, are usually the most needy. Remember a relationship is just as much about "we" as it is about "you" and "me."
6. Speak in code
This may popularly be referred to as Woman-ese. The most classic example is when you ask your man how he's feeling or what he's thinking. It's almost certain that by asking this question, you are thinking something. So, you ask men this in order to see if he's thinking the same thing you are. Sorry to say this just irritates men. It's not like men don't have thoughts, feelings an opinions. You are simply approaching it the wrong way. If you are curious about a man's inner thoughts and feelings, ask him a specific question. If you are simply asking these questions, hoping he says just what you wanted to hear, then you will be sorely disappointed. Men are not mind readers. It only sours the relationship by expecting your man to know what's on your mind.
5. Invade & Disrespect A Man's Personal Space
Now yes, once you move in with your man, you start to share the same space. But many women have this desire to snoop and change a man's Surroundings. Have you ever found yourself snooping through his things, for no reason other than curiosity? Have you put pink fluffy covers over the toilet, or told him he can no longer have the basement for his workbench, big screen tv, or hobby stuff?
Yet, if a man did the same with your things it wouldn't be so funny would it? The idea that "what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine" doesn't sound so amusing when you're on the opposite end of the statement.
4. Being overly emotional
Women who cry over everything are simply an eyesore to men. Men enjoy that women are more delicate, and sensitive then they are. However, if a woman is crying and whining everyday about something new, it becomes bothersome. No man enjoys hearing a woman cry. Honestly what's he going to do other than say "there, there sweetie"? A good man will always be there for you. But if you're always in need… Well, you know how the story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" ends.
3. Treating Shopping As A Sport
Shopping is a necessary thing at times, and can even be fun. But many women go a little too far. Men are not slaves to fashion. So going out every day to see what new items are on the sales rack isn't on his list of priorities. We've all seen it. You go to a shopping mall, and you see a group of men huddled together, bored out of their minds, holding their girlfriends and wives purse. All things in moderation. Sure a guy may not mind and even enjoy going out with you for a day and doing a little shopping. But if this turns into an everyday event, he will no doubt be looking for the nearest exist sign.
If you are one of these women, use the internet to your advantage. At least this way you can browse the latest fashion news without overwhelming your man about it. This will make your shopping time more effective, because you will know what's available, and how much you should pay for it.
2. Talking Too Much
It's no secret that if you ask a woman how her day was, that it will easily turn into a 45 minute conversation. Now men enjoy listening and being with a good woman. But they really have little interest in hearing every detail about your day. It's really not necessary to recite the details of your day like you're reciting minutes at a court hearing. What's worse is when you repeat the important parts of your day ad nauseum. Keep it simple and brief. Give him the Cliff's Notes version of your day, instead of a cover to cover reading of the minutes.
1. Using Sex To Get What You Want
Now, using your sensuality to encourage a man to do something, or ask him a favor in a sweet caring way is a smart thing to do. But if you withhold sex and affection in order to get what you want, that is manipulative. Sex is supposed to be a loving expression between two lovers, or just the satisfaction of animal lust. But it surely isn't supposed to be a tool to manipulate your lover.
Men don't want to feel as if they have to pay for sex. All this will do is tell this man that women are "things" to be bought. And as a woman, while it may be nice at first, you would never approve of men treating women as if they are something to be bought. But by withholding sex for money or favors, this is the message you send.
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This Post was contributed by Vicky from Got A Crush