Where are you from? - The, sometimes, unanswerable question...

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I’d like to talk about something a little personal, if I may, because I’m curious about what the rest of you who have experienced this in the past or are experiencing it now feel about it.

I’m sort of a third culture kid, although even that doesn’t really describe what I am. I didn’t go from one culture to another and then form a third culture out of that mix of experiences; I was born in one Iran, raised the first half of my life in France and spent the second half of my childhood in the US in California. I’ve often been described as being like an onion, my core is Iranian, my mid-layers are French, and my outer layers are American, though the skin is Iranian based on my looks, and I've described myself as a cultural mutt when asked "what I was."
I married a Pakistani who was born in Lahore but who, in terms of education, was raised in the United Kingdom, and in terms of vacation time was mostly in Saudi Arabia or sometimes back in Pakistan. He and I have funny arguments about the meaning of various words in American English as opposed to British English. I have two step-children, one who is half Pakistani-one quarter Kuwaiti-one quarter Swedish, and the other who is half Pakistani-half American. My ten month-old daughter, who is ethnically half Iranian-half Pakistani, was born in London, entitling her to a British passport to go with her various other passports and residency permits.

Where am I going with this? Well, I’ve always had an easy and a hard time fitting in. Easy because there were few ways in which to be entrenched, my parents not being big sticklers for tradition, hard because I could always see what the other side of the argument might be, or the way that those “foreign” people might interpret the situation. I think of everywhere as home and nowhere as home if that makes sense. Wherever I am, if I am there for a while and haven’t traveled, I start to feel antsy and homesick for another home. It’s disconcerting sometimes because I can be in a room of people who have very strong opinions about their country or their part of the world and it feels like this brings them a sense of security in something permanent that I have never felt.

That isn’t to say that I haven’t argued for my various countries of origin, as I actually did most of my life though I didn’t begin to realize it until I was in my late teens.
My French childhood friends would sometimes refer to me as “l’Iranienne” (the Iranian); to my American schoolmates I was a French “frog” first but became Middle Eastern when the Middle East would come up in the news which then often translated to my representing terrorism somehow; to my French friends I became “l’Américaine” who could understand the way Americans thought and behaved and probably was betraying French culture and tradition by assimilating somehow; on the round went until eventually there were so many arrows pointing from one place to the other on so many different subjects that I stopped trying to defend one culture to another as a function of where I was geographically. If people didn’t want to understand, that was their own problem, not mine, but the feeling of not belonging was only delineated more sharply by the ever-growing impossibility of taking one side and sticking to it.

So the question is, how do I raise my daughter to feel a sense of home that is, pardon the pun, foreign to me. The saying is that “home is where the heart is,” but that’s a bit trite and nebulous, isn’t it? I can certainly agree with the idea that my home is where my family is, but even though family is immutable, one still goes through life in one’s own head and is, in a way, alone. It’s likely that we will be traveling a fair amount as she grows up, partly because that is our wish and partly because our personal and professional lives require travel. Is the answer simply to make sure she has a thick skin?

You’re probably wondering how my stepchildren have fared so far, and my answer would be quite well, but I don’t know what it was, or perhaps wasn’t, that has resulted in their faring so well while being pulled in so many different directions. I haven’t had a long discussion with either one of them about this because I don’t think I was fully cognizant of the source of my discomfort until I was in college, so I don’t think it fair to bring this open-ended question into their lives, until they start to feel it for themselves, while hoping that perhaps it will never enter their consciousness.

I know that many of you who read the Daily Tiffin are expatriates in your own right, some having children and raising them in completely foreign cultures from your own, but wonder which of you were brought up in a couple or more different places, as I was, and feel like they have no country but, also, every country.
And, if you have children, are you finding that their experience of several cultures is similar to yours or different, or that they are affected in ways you couldn’t have imagined because their experience was not, in the end, what you thought it would be based on your own understanding of the nomadic life? Why don't you step into my office...

This post was written by Hilda

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LIFE AND DEATH AND THE ROAD WE TRAVEL TOGETHER

How do we deal with the death of a loved one? You wipe away your tears as you walk away from the funeral, join the family back at the house for a cool lunch, cold cuts and fresh fruit and more tears but mostly laughter, enjoying this time together no matter how bittersweet, recounting family stories, pulling up memories from some deep spot in your heart. And then, what happens next? You pack your suitcases and fly back home where husband and kids await, the laundry pile has mysteriously grown all out of proportion, the dog dances around you, nosing into your bags as soon as they hit the floor, everyone clamoring for your attention.

Michael and I 1962

You try and get back into the swing of things, “real life”, as quickly as possible, partly because there are those who need you, who depend upon you, but more likely because it is the easiest way to block out the thoughts, the loss.

Almost two months has past since I was standing in the burning Florida sun trying not to look in the direction of the wooden box stretched out serenely in front of us, saying good-bye to my beloved brother. Heartbroken doesn’t even begin to describe it. As we get older we begin to expect, to understand that one by one we will lose our loved ones, grandparents, parents, and we try and brace ourselves for the eventuality. Yet when another older generation passes away, someone in their 70s or 80s or 90s, we can comfort ourselves with the thought that they lived a good, long life, accomplished what they wanted to accomplish and hopefully didn’t suffer too much on the way out. It is the way of life, one generation at a time, life then death.

Sue and Michael 1960

Yet when the unexpected happens, friends or family of our own generation or, heaven forbid, a child, go, whether illness or accident, incomprehension intertwines with the pain: We look at their life and think of all they had yet to accomplish, the years and road ahead of them, and we wonder if the tears are for them or for ourselves. Their death brings us closer to our own destiny and, truth be told, we just aren’t ready, we have such a long time ahead of us, there is still so much to do, so how is this possible? The loss is so close, too close, and it is as if we have lost a limb or part of ourselves. And now we return to our family our home our job and must move ahead. How?

Michael and I 1972

I have been keeping busy. Blogging, writing, cooking, baking. Laundry, shopping, evenings out or in with the family. No time to think about the loss. Afraid to look at it in the face, scared and simply not understanding the unfairness of it all. And then I wonder if we, the survivors, cry for them and such life cut off in its prime, everything left undone, or are the tears for ourselves, left alone like orphans, no more birthday calls or silly cards, no more long catch-up phone calls or brotherly advice, no more visits or cooking together or laughing over stories of when we were kids. Or maybe this unexpected death forces us to look our own destiny, our own eventual death, in the face. And what happens afterwards? Heaven? Reincarnation? Nothing? And all too often, we close our eyes and refuse to look.

A dear friend of mine reminded me of the importance of grieving: “The death of a loved one is something that we all experience at some point in our lives and I think it is important to talk about it instead of tidily brushing it under the carpet. When my grandfather died, I was so unprepared and had no idea how to deal with my emotions.” We tend to skip around the issue, avoiding it as if it were taboo. Yet somehow it is comforting when people ask how the funeral went, how we are doing and open the door to discussion. Why are we so nervous bringing it up to someone who has just lost a loved one? We should talk about it, even if we stumble around searching for just the right words. Even no words, the “I don’t know what to say”, helps break down the invisible barrier and allows us to share feelings and fears, hopes and dreams, memories and ideas about where we go when it all ends. Another friend of mine sent me a fascinating book about reincarnation. Her philosophy? Spirits are all around us but aren’t there to do harm but rather to watch over us, help us understand what we don’t understand and we should simply give a friendly Hello from time to time and let them know we appreciate the visit and the care. Talking with her is so comforting, no black thoughts, no fear of the unknown, rather the joy of life, the dream of an afterlife and never losing touch with those who have passed on.

Michael with our mom and my boys @1995

And what about the kids? Children may not feel the death of a loved one as strongly, but may need to talk about it even more than we do. My 19-year-old son said “I didn’t see Uncle Michael often enough to really feel the loss, not like you do what with your history together.” Yet several weeks later, as we were strolling down the street, he burst forth with “I just can’t believe Uncle Michael is gone. It is so strange to think about!” The door to discussion needs to remain open for them as well as for us, for the strangeness of it all, the scariness of an illness or death, should be talked about. If we don’t talk about that then how can we spend the time talking about his life and all that fun that we shared together? It all blends into one.

So it is perfectly fine to broach the subject, don’t be afraid. There is comfort in allowing us to talk, to share the stories that we all have, to hear yours as well. This is the only way we can grieve, by telling the tale, sharing the stories, crying and laughing together. Not only does this draw us, the living, closer together, but it allows us to face our own fears of “what happens next” and realize that we are all in it, this crazy thing called life, together.

The family in Florida 2008

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This post was written by JAMIE

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‘Earth to Table in the Shortest Time’… The locavores have arrived!

Locavore … a term coined on World Environment Day, 2005, to promote the buying /eating of produce grown within the 100 mile (160Km) radius.

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The issue being addressed in 2005 was the alarming trend of produce being transported half way across the globe to feed a ‘global appetite for exotic fare'. What was satiating the palate was no different in calories, but meant hugely in terms of miles it travelled, the cost of shipping … in other words, the significant carbon footprint it left stamped on a burdened Earth.

I am a firm supporter of the 100 mile diet. My Indian lamb chops taste as good as any I have had. New Zealand lamb chops may still be the best, but I am ‘palate happy'. I cringed when I heard of a new butter chicken launched in a city in India, advertised as “Anaarkali, the classiest Butter Chicken on earth is about more than just exotic ingredients & years of research.” A dish that serves 2 is for Rs 6000/- (USD 136/-), counts as its ingredients fresh tomatoes and Hunt’s Tomato Paste, Danish Lurpak Unsalted Butter, Fillipo Berio Olive Oil and Evian Natural Spring Water. It might well be the best butter chicken on the face of this Earth, and the entrepreneurs mean well as they are donating part of the proceeds to charity, yet, wouldn’t ‘eating off the land’ have been better for Earth?

This is not about food snobbery. It’s all a matter of perspective, and it’s heartening to see foodie bloggers playing a hugely responsible role in following a locavore diet. It’s wonderful to see them following seasons, blogs glowing orange with anything from persimmons to pumpkins announcing fall. Even better to see folk roasting their own pumpkins for puree! It’s imperative to begin counting ‘Food Miles’, or the distance food travels from where it is grown. The words ring loud… the closer the food, the better the taste! Andrea Meyers leads with her Grow Your Own event, a twice-a-month blogging event that celebrates the foods we grow or raise ourselves and the dishes we make using our homegrown products.
In September this year, the Obama administration launched a 'Know Your Farmer, Know Your Food' initiative to connect consumers with local producers. The idea is not to limit choice, but to expand consciences, and encourage healthy seasonal eating. 2 recent cookbooks that sing the locavore anthem of ‘Earth to table in the shortest time’ are worth a mention. In their book, Earth to Table, renowned chefs Jeff Crump and Bettina Schormann remind us of the relationship between local eating and taste, and demonstrate how you can reduce your carbon footprint without diminishing your enjoyment of food. Bringing together stories of the passage of seasons on the farm; how-to sections; stunning photographs; and, of course, creative and delectable recipes that will leave anyone wondering why they ever considered eating a tomato in February. In Cooking for Friends, award-winning chef, world-renowned restaurateur, bestselling author, and Hell’s Kitchen star Gordon Ramsey offers us more than 100 exceptional recipes from his own family table. The way Gordon cooks here embodies his strongly held views: use in-season, fresh ingredients at their peak; support local producers and farmers' markets whenever possible; and celebrate the food culture and its many influences.

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This post was written by Deeba

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Rebel without a cause….

Went to drop the daughter to school this morning for the annual camping trip. They’re off for 3 days to an adventure camp in the lap of the Himalayas. A camp filled with much excitement for the 13 year olds…with promises of body surfing, night hiking, river crossing, rappelling, fish catching techniques, rowing & much more.

It's 3.30 am, time to get moving, and the argument begins once again…
1. You aren’t going to wear flip-flops & board the train?
Of course I am! We ALL are!

(Pre-decided...hmmmmm)
But, I argue, lamelessly, the platforms here are filthy.
Don’t I know? We do this every year. It’s OK. We’re ALL wearing these!
I rest my case! Peer pressure, mob mentality… whatever!
2. For heaven’s sake, does each toe nail HAVE to be a different colour?

(Fuchsia pink, sunshine yellow, lime green, orange & turquoise)
Yeah, they’re matching the flip-flops. That’s why I bought them!

‘Them’ refers to new Converse flip flops, & also to a dazzling array of nail paints.
3. Hurry we’re getting late.
Wait. I still have to paint my nails!
WHAT?
Change of plans over last minute telephone conversations. Multi coloured is off; black is being lavished on the pretty toes. I am about to explode….

We reach school, thankfully well in time, as we are known to be punctual folk. Meet up with a bunch of my friends, parents from the school community, and 4am seems the perfect time to air our woes. Our drift is the same, and we begin exchanging notes. The kids who’ve studied together since they were 4 years old are all thick pals. Everything is obviously decided because one look around, and you can see black painted toe nails & flip flops all across the gym.

A harried father of one of her girlfriends joins our animated conversation. “Why black, why is everything black? My daughter is a rebel. A rebel without a cause,” he says. He hit the nail on the head! Mine is too, only until this morning I didn’t have a coined phrase for her. ‘REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE’ - It does feel better putting her into a category of sorts! (Am I being mean?)

The harried man goes on to add. (They are Bengalis from Eastern India, and this is the most auspicious month for them. They gather at a community fair at this time every year to offer obeisance to their goddess). "We went to the prayer service and fair yesterday and she went dressed like ‘that’." He points to his daughter dressed in shorts, sneakers & a black tee. In India, at fairs like these, you would find people dressed, or rather overdressed, in traditional attire. He continues…"Then when we went to offer flowers to the deity, she stood far from us, refusing to join us, asking what we expected to achieve by doing 'all this'. What do you think you'll ‘get’?" He was pretty alarmed by the sign of times to come as she said she didn’t believe in ‘stuff like this’!

I got back and related this to the hub, who is on the quieter side, and pretty much reserved about his thoughts in public! He had but one comment to make, and with a smile of amused relief. "Thankfully we aren’t religious, so at least we have one less thing to argue over!"

That said, it’s not easy bringing up teens. The daughter has marked her ‘rebel’ path, and the son is beginning to show similar signs too, like an infectious disease! To those who have ‘been there, done that’, when does it get better? And to those that have yet to get ‘there’, good luck to you! This saga never ends!

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This post was written by Deeba

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Immunization - Truth and Rumor

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My families are a bunch of trivia heads, both the one I was born into and the one I am now a parent in. I think asking us trivia questions incessantly and providing interesting trivia continuously was a way for my father to instill deep curiosity about everything in us.

On occasion, my father will ask me the same question, perhaps forgetting that he has asked me it before: What would you name as the three most important discoveries for mankind? My answer has always consisted of the same first two things: 1) Fire and 2) The Printing Press. The third one is not always the same depending on the occasion, and while he agrees with me about the first two, my father is always unerring in the third one: 3) The generalization of the vaccination process by Louis Pasteur.

When I was little, I don't think there was even a shadow of a doubt that I was going to be vaccinated. In fact, I can't recall there being any issues with vaccination during my lifetime except within the last five to ten years. In that time, the rise in instances of autism in young children has led factions of people to believe that vaccines and vaccinations in general are a direct cause of the condition.
So, to vaccinate or not to vaccinate? That is the question.
As the mother of a nearly six month-old baby, I'm going to be honest and begin this discussion by saying that my little girl has had her prescribed shots;  at two months, three months, four months and has just had a BCG shot which is recommended before the age of one in Europe. The vaccines that she has received so far are meant to protect her from Diphtheria, Tetanus, Whooping cough, Polio, and Pneumococcal(lung) and Meningococcal(brain) strains of influenza. The BCG is a vaccine against Tuberculosis. Further shots when she'll be thirteen months old should protect her from Measles, Mumps and Rubella. So it's obvious which side of this equation I fall under, but I'll break it down and see if it makes sense to you too.

Even before the mercury rumor, which persists to this day, the first rumor blaming vaccines was started by a group of researchers who published a study in the late 90s theorizing that the Measles, Mumps and Rubella vaccine (MMR) caused autism in a study they did of 26 children (12 with autism and 14 without). Yep, you read that right, 26 children, there's no zero missing at the end of that number.  The researcher who headed the study was very vocal about publicizing the results though the study did not prove anything. However, the said same researcher was later found to have hidden a conflict of interest involving funding from potential plaintiffs in a lawsuit against a vaccine manufacturer. Ten of the thirteen researchers who had published the original study later retracted their findings. Nevertheless, the rumor that vaccines caused autism was cemented into the psyche, and as the MMR debate was being fought, a new target was found in mercury.
The most persistent rumor in the anti-vaccination campaign has been that mercury found in a chemical known as thimerosal, which was used as a preservative in some vaccines, is the cause of higher rates of autism. However, upon doing extensive reviews of such a possibility, it was found that the quantity of mercury in thimerosal, measured in nano grams per milliliter in children after vaccination, is well below the acceptable level as defined by EPA standards. I trusted the reports I read because I was trained as an environmental engineer in college so I know about measurements like nano grams per milliliter (ηg/ml) up the wazoo as I had to study air, water, and soil pollution (did you know that if you work in the United States, the air in your workplace has to be recycled 5.4 times per hour? Yes, I'm so scarred I remember OSHA standards by heart twelve years after the fact). To be specific, the amount of thimerosal measured in children after vaccination was less than half of the acceptable amount.  Unfortunately, in this day and age of electronic communication, coming on the heels of the claims about MMR, the fuse had already been lit and spread in part by the New York Times and Rolling Stone and the thimerosal rumor grew to enormous proportions.

In my mind there are several things that are more likely the cause of autism, than just something as unlikely as a simple vaccine or set of vaccines. I apologize in advance to anyone with an autistic child who may read this but I do not pretend to be an expert, I am simply going forward with what some research, experience, and logic are telling me. Autism does not describe one particular condition, rather, it is a spectrum of disorders. This is why a condition such as asperger would be said to fall within the autism spectrum of disorders. My mother has asperger, some of the symptoms being stronger than others in her particular case. My paternal uncle, who is a mathematician, also falls within the general spectrum; though which one of the exact disorders he would qualify as having I wouldn't know. What I do know, from these two people close to me and many others mostly unrelated to me, is that many of the disorders which fall under the autism spectrum umbrella have only recently been identified and categorized as such, and that the diagnosis of many of these disorders is not always evident unless a person has a severe case of that particular category. In other words, what I've gathered from people of my parent's generation and above is that as recently as my parent's generation (the '40s and '50s) they weren't aware that there was any such disorder, they were simply considered to be relatively slow, quirky or eccentric. The octogenarian mother of a man I know who is in his early 50s didn't know that he suffered from ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) until he was diagnosed a few years ago. As she recanted, she had always thought that he was simply over energetic, this being his quirk compared to her three other children. To me, this translates to the steady increase in the reports of autism as actually being a function of our recent heightened awareness of its distinct categories rather than its sudden increase as a consequence of vaccination.
Moreover, autism, in severe cases, is often diagnosed in young children as early as one year old. This is right in the middle of the standard vaccination timeline and I, as a new mother, can attest that I would consider it odd if my perfectly normal-seeming child suddenly started displaying autistic behavior shortly after being vaccinated and might want to think of that as the possible cause for her sudden change in behavior. I completely understand the urge to find a concrete cause for something like this happening to one's child as the more concrete the cause, the more possible a specific treatment and/or cure might be. However, it should be considered that the urge to blame vaccination comes partly from the fact that when children are this young, vaccination is one of the only things that we as their parents can control completely since they cannot fully communicate with us yet and we have little or no control over a number of other factors in their environment such as pollution or allergens and, for that matter, many other things which surround us daily but which we've come to accept as the natural state of the 20th and 21st century life. It's important to remember that while we can control the administration of vaccines to our young children, unless we are doctors or biochemists ourselves, we don't fully understand them either, and understanding something only partially may be worse than not at all in some cases like this.

Finally, if I haven't caused you to nod off on your keyboard by now, the third and last part of this equation is the fact that some of the diseases which our generation, and now our children's generation, are routinely vaccinated against used to kill scores of infants and adults alike. Because the population of people, however small, who are not vaccinating their children is on the rise, diseases such as measles, which was considered to have been eradicated in the United States in 2000, polio and mumps are now on the rise again, with outbreaks over the last few years. I think it's hard for my generation to comprehend diseases like polio because we were vaccinated against them. We didn't have to endure them as people of our parents' generation had to. The risk of my daughter catching one of these diseases and perhaps dying from one or more of them if she were not vaccinated, is higher and more likely than her developing autism from the composition of the vaccine; particularly since the causality between vaccination and autism is not proven. So I think in the end it must be pretty clear why I'm in the vaccination camp.
I have to note the following: All children are, of course, individuals and it is important to take family history with allergies and adverse reactions into account when deciding whether or not to vaccinate a child.

I can't remember now what other answers I've given my father when it comes to the third most important discovery for mankind, but now that I have a child who is being vaccinated, I don't think I'll ever forget that that is probably the best third answer I can come up with. Perhaps that has been the point of his asking me repeatedly over the years, to see if I would come to this realization when I had children of my own. Thanks Dad.



This post was written by Hilda


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STEPPING OUT OF 'MY' COMFORT ZONE...

A few days ago the hub decided to shake the kids out of their secure bubble, & announced it was time to take a trip into town using public transport. The call was for a trip into the old city here in Delhi, 'Old Delhi, Purani Dilli or the Walled City' as it is also called, and by the Delhi Metro. The Metro has been around for a couple of years yet we hadn’t experienced it. 'Oh NO'… a huge cry rose across the room, both kids looking at me in despair. The hub always feels that the two of them have got too used to being driven around from point A to B, or using the school bus. They have no idea how the transport system works, & how we used to hop on and off buses when we were young. We’ve been on the Monorail in Sydney, MRT in Singapore, Metro in HKG, Tube in London, even the Moscow Metro…but every country is different, and ours is no exception. Hopped onto the train, stumbling around the system initially, but we soon got a hang of things. Though the journey into town was an hour long, it was stress free, in air conditioned comfort, with no crowds etc. Being a really hot and humid day, once out of the train, the heat, humidity & chaos soon hit us. We had stepped into a different world, & the kids just gaped! The walled city has a certain charm of it’s own. Lots of old dilapidated buildings, delicious roadside food (which we didn’t heat because of jaundice, typhoid fears), hundreds of people, cattle, rickshaws ... all sharing space on the road. A happy balance of complete chaos. We had fun sauntering around streets with no names, reaching dead ends, then piling into rickshaws and racing each other, passing the Jama Masjid en route, India’s largest and most picturesque mosque. Screeched to a halt to crowd into a tiny shop dealing with brass ware etc. Was fun to see the kids’ eyes light up… so much to sift through. A shop packed with fascinating bric-a-brac. They wanted everything, the daughter especially who went ballistic and almost needed to be tranquilized. I wanted everything, but then I’m ‘grown-up’, so that’s my perk!! We shopped till the hub dropped, & then set off again. The bait was the food of course! Here the kids were game. Let’s go to Karim’s was the call…a place that found its way into top Asian foodie joint listings, including the Times and BBC guides. To quote from the Time Magazine, 'Travelers in Delhi have a lot on their plate. Mughal monuments like the hulking Red Fort and the elegant Jama Masjid, India's largest mosque, loom above the city's myriad bazaars and the dusty homes of forgotten poets. But no matter how much there is to explore, locals and visitors alike always return to Delhi's most beloved haunt: Karim's. A cycle-rickshaw ride from the Chandni Chowk Metro stop, Karim's is neither soaring fortress nor ancient temple, yet it is an unmissable landmark nonetheless, often filled to capacity with the faithful. This drab roadside dhaba (or eatery) serves up the most authentic Mughlai fare in the city—which is what you might expect considering who runs the place.'The hype had been created before. We conveniently forgot to tell them that it was a glorified road-side dhaba that is famous for its food, not interiors. They were shocked & refused to eat. Hub and me exchanged looks, & told them to wait while we ate, and they could eat at home. To Karim’s credit, the minute the food was served, the kids devoured it like there was no tomorrow, enjoying each morsel.Long day done, early supper enjoyed, and we set off into the setting sun to catch the Metro back home. This time the journey wasn’t easy. We got caught in the holiday rush & were squished like sardines in a can. Crowds like we’ve never seen before, jostling for every square inch. Quite alarming actually, but surprise surprise; the kids didn’t complain. Not once. They just took to it and were quite fancy-free. Not a whine the entire hour of standing with teeming millions, not a whine when there was a power cut for a minute & my heart stopped beating, not a whine till we got back home…WOW!!Lesson learnt - It's me who has to step out of my comfort zone. I confess I was VERY skeptical and doubted this idea would work. Rolled my eyes at the hub when the kids weren't looking. Experience is a great teacher! Kids are so much more adaptable. They just need the opportunity.

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This post was written by Deeba

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WHAT'S ALL THE TWITTER ABOUT?

Twittering changed a part of my life, for the better. About an year ago, I read about an article about Twitter & how this micro blogging application is changing the world. At the time, I understood it minimally, but it held my attention. Eventually, I began twittering, after being coerced into it by my bunch of foodie friends, and it changed a part of my life. I find that twittering brings people closer, bridges gaps and helps build long lasting relationships. Being part of this forum, allows you to think about issues differently, sometimes 'out of the box'. More people mean more perspectives, in harmonious balance, because you choose who to follow! Do you Twitter? Has it changed your life?

What's Twitter all about?
By accepting messages from sms, web, mobile web, instant message, or from third party API projects, Twitter makes it easy for folks to stay connected. Simplicity has played an important role in Twitter's success. People are eager to connect with other people and Twitter makes that simple. Twitter asks one question, "What are you doing?" Answers must be under 140 characters in length and can be sent via mobile texting, instant message, or the web.

What I like about Twitter ...

• Always someone to tweet to at any given time night or day
• Can catch up with friends in uno momento
• Can join like minded groups - foodie, medical, parenting etc, & find passionate people
• Make new friends who are a treasure & absolute fun
• Meet up with bloggers that you might not be able to keep up with otherwise
• ALWAYS someone who says good morning or good night to you with a HUGE smile!
• 'Tweeples' are the most fun & helpful people. Just a tweet with a question or dilemma & rest assured, there's bound be a solution soon, if not many
• Photo uploads to share take a couple of seconds
• News breaks fastest here. Is Twitter the Face of 21st Century News? ... but sometimes the reliability is in question
• It's easy to lend support to a political/social movement. Currently quite a few of us are 'draped in green' to lend support to the situation in Iran

Twitter is addictive & gobbles away a large part of your day if you aren't careful. Sometimes I need to be peeled away from twitter. It's fun, not eactly or easily describable, but a whole lot of FUN!

To get twittering, all you need to do is get an account on Twitter, & then get a desktop application/tool to make life easier. Some tools are TweetDeck , Twhirl, Twitter Gadget, Twitterrific, Twitterfeed and TwitThis. Check out lots more applications here, & get twittering!!

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This post was written by Deeba

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ARE YOU OBSESSIVE?

Are you obsessive?

Sometimes I feel that I’m possessed by obsession. And more often than not, IT follows me to the kitchen. Each time I finish a part of the menu I am cooking up, I do the dishes, wipe them, clear the place, put everything back, wipe the counters…& then begin the next bit. My knives have to be in the right place, the right knife has to be used for the right thing. I will not slice tomatoes till I find my serrated slicer, I worship my microplaner, my santuko is the only thing that slices my grilled chicken … & I’m the mistress of the kitchen. So much so, that when I chop, each piece should be the same size. The saving grace is that I’m pretty quick with the cutting, chopping and clearing up, otherwise we would have a ‘singing for the supper’ happening every night!

Things are slowly changing, & now I have company. The daughter is growing up, & she’s the regular teen with her head in the clouds. My knives are misplaced; my favourite non-stick is where I can’t find it, the ketchup is out & the cupboard is open … SIGH!! Sometimes I wish I was more chilled out, but it's not happening yet!

Wonder if I'm alone in this obsession; are you in there with me?

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This post was written by Deeba

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THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOGURT...

There's something about YOGURT, & I'm hooked to it. Sometimes I think I'm taking it too far, & substituting cream with yogurt too often, but it's a habit that grows on you. On indulgent days my panna cotta will have cream, but otherwise, it'll have a thick hung yogurt, referred to here as 'curd cheese' or 'shrikhand'. Yogurt is the most versatile ingredient in my fridge, & the benefits are manifold. Amongst others, yogurt

• may help you to live longer, and may fortify your immune system
• can significantly improve the cholesterol profile
• contains lactoferrin, an iron-binding protein that boosts the growth and activity of osteoblasts (the cells that build bone)
• has Lactobacillus, a probiotic (friendly) bacteria which offers "remarkable preventive and curative" effects on arthritis
• strengthens the immune system
• is helpful in the battle against ulcers
  

Chocolate Yogurt Cake

Yogurt is a very good source of iodine, calcium, phosphorus, and vitamin B2. It is also a good source of protein, vitamin B12, potassium, molybdenum, zinc and pantothenic acid. These 10 nutrients alone would make yogurt a health-supportive food. Some of the most interesting health information about yogurt comes from its potential inclusion of live bacteria.

It's no secret at home that I make my ice-creams/frozen yogurt desserts, my egg less cheesecake & sour cream etc with yogurt, & the results are delicious. Might well be a good idea to introduce kids to a 'yogurt habit' when young. Mine have been hooked on to it since they were very young. Come summer, winter, spring or fall, there has to be fresh, home-made, chilled yogurt every single day. The daughter isn't so much of a yogurt addict any more (teen thingy?), but the son is a complete 'yogurt freak'! He eats 2-3 bowlfuls with every meal, just plain, sans sugar. The daughter will usually add a tsp of sugar but wolf it down anyway. I set 2 litres of yogurt every alternate day... it's that much part of our existence!! I use it in sauces, in kebabs & curries, in lassi (sweet & sour), to make dips, to make sour cream, to make my cheesecakes (with eggs & without), to make ice-cream, to make chocolate yogurt cake, to make muffins...oh the list is endless! Here's a simple David Levobitz recipe I adapted. It might be a good way to introduce yogurt to frozen desserts this summer, but be warned, it's very addictive. And oh yes, you don't need an ice-cream machine to make this one!

Frozen Strawberry Yogurt
Adapted from David Levobitz
Ingredients:
1 cup (240g) hung curd
1 pound (450g) strawberries, rinsed and hulled
2/3 cup (130g) sugar
1 teaspoon fresh lime juice
Method:
Tie the yogurt in a cheesecloth and let it sit in a strainer in a bowl overnight or for at least 2 hours. This will help drain off all the whey and result in a very creamy frozen yogurt dessert. (I find overnight a better option)
Cut the strawberries and toss them in the sugar until the sugar begins to dissolve. (I used vanilla sugar).
Blend it together to a puree. (Strain if you don't like the seeds in)
Next, blend in the yogurt and lime juice until the mixture is smooth. Adjust the sweetness if required.
Freeze the mixture in a wide dish or plastic container. (The larger the surface area, quicker the freezing – since we have to pulse this mixture a couple of times).
Keep checking on the mixture every 30 minutes or so and use the stick blender to break the icicles, 4, maybe 5 times. (I used a sturdy whisk).
Once it's almost set, you can add a handful of finely chopped fresh basil, or else, some chopped pistachio nuts if you like. Just plain is good too!
Garnish with sliced strawberries & a sprig of basil, or, chopped pistachio nuts & mint!

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This post was written by Deeba

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Ada Lovelace Day - women in technology

"Ada Lovelace Day is an international day of blogging to draw attention to women excelling in technology. Women's contributions often go unacknowledged, their innovations seldom mentioned, their faces rarely recognised."

This is a sad state of affairs.
Almost all of the bloggers I know are female. All of them know how to use a computer, navigate the web, fiddle with HTML and CSS markups, use a camera (most of them better than me!) set up photography professionally and more - and we do it on a regular basis!
Even better, most of us work or have worked, in one way or another, in the tech sector. (Don't believe it? Read our bios.)
We are not rare. We are not alone! Despite what many of us still think, none of us is, these days, the exception to the rule any more.
Therefore, this post is dedicated to all of you! Celebrate your techyness! You do not have to prove yourself to be good with technology any more. You already are.

So why are we still underrepresented and underacknowledged?
One of the reasons might be that we are still taught, by media and common opinion, that we do not have to be good at technology. It's OK, because we are women. If we are good, it is either exceptional (ooh, look at that brainy girl!) or it is not noticed because we ourselves think it's nothing special.

Well, the bad news first: It isn't. Most people in our generation should (in my opinion) have a base level of understanding of modern technology. We grew up with it, and we're using it daily. Being good at using a computer is not special, nor is it something only men can do. We have all grown up with it and it's time we realized that.

But now the good news: It isn't! That means that even if you think now "Oh, this doesn't apply to me, I never was interested in maths during my school time" it does not mean that you're automatically doomed to tech-unsavvyness.
Nor is it a good excuse. Why are girls not interested in maths? Simply because they see no reason to be. When asked about career options, boys will name about every profession on the planet. Most girls, however, will stick to the "soft" options, the traditionally female-dominated jobs. We don't see the other jobs as an option - something I realized almost too late myself. Now I'm a programmer and scientist and loving it.
Why don't we consider it? Well, because most girls we see around us aren't. Neither are most girls in the media. But that's not true, and you are already proof of it! Come out and make your voice heard. We are the techie girls of today - let's be good examples to the next generation that's growing up now!

All currently registered Ada Lovelace Day posts
The pledge
More about the pledge

And now returning to the regular food blogging...

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This post was written by jokergirl from WereRabbits.

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DO YOU FIND COMFORT IN FOOD?

Comfort food..." Food that is simply prepared and associated with a sense of home or contentment."

Comfort food is food that you turn to in times of negative emotions , in times of stress, when you're in a bad mood, when life isn't looking too good. Foods that you connect to good memories, childhood security ... safety, joy, warmth = comfort. They have an air of familiarity, are often indulgent, and typically provide a sense of physical as well as emotional comfort. Science has it that comfort food release good chemicals in our brain leading to mood alleviation. Very often comfort food is a home-cooked informal meal, that you can sit & eat on the couch, with your feet tucked in under you.

Research on 'negative emotions & consumption therapy' often find a strong link between 'comfort food' and the notion of mood-alleviation. Other examples include impulse purchasing, compensatory consumption, recreational shopping, and self-gift behaviors.

Did you know that as recession surges, so do comfort food needs. A study in the UK shows that 'sales of nostalgic treats and products that remind us of happier, less complicated times are soaring'. Marks & Spencer's recently started selling a jam sandwich for 75p..."It really is the ultimate comfort food at an unbeatable price", they claim. One bite takes you right back to your childhood.

Studies also reflect that different choices in comfort food are picked by men & women. Men tend to pick a whole meal whereas women are known to reach for chocolate or snacks. Age also plays a huge role. Youngsters are more likely to pick sweets & snacks, whereas older people find comfort in hot foods like mashed potatoes & soup.

Do you find comfort in food? What is your comfort food? Macaroni & cheese, fries, crisps, chili, fried chicken, a bar of chocolate, ice-cream, candy seem to be popular choices. I find comfort in a packet of crisps, or a bar of bitter chocolate, but I find the most comfort in nature, more than anything else. I can spend hours outdoors!

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This post was written by Deeba

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Save Money on Your Food Bill: Start a Kitchen Garden

My husband and I have been growing our own vegetables and herbs for about 10 years. I started gardening by growing peppers, tomatoes, and herbs in pots on my apartment balcony and every year we try to have some kind of garden, both indoor and outdoor, no matter where we live or how much space we have. Some years have better yields than others, but we have always had a sense that we save money on produce and get the benefits of eating healthy foods without pesticides. We had never sat down and done the math on how much money we saved on our grocery bills, but we had done some calculations in our heads and felt confident that our efforts in the garden helped our food budget as well as our health.

Last week I got to read someone else's proof that growing your own produce is good for your food budget. Roger Doiron, the founder of Kitchen Gardeners International, published a post called "Economics of Home Gardening" which shared a detailed analysis of what his family had saved on all the produce they grew, and his statistics are amazing. He calculated their cost to run the garden and they weighed everything they harvested and calculated the cost using average prices from regular grocery stores, farmers markets, and Whole Foods. They spent US$282.00 to manage their garden, which included the cost of seeds and and supplies, soil testing, compost, and water. Their total harvest for the year was 833.79 pounds/376.03 kilos of produce. If they had purchased all of that produce rather than growing it themselves, their calculations showed they would have spent US$2,196.50 at average grocery store prices in their area, US$2,431.15 at their farmers market, and US$2,548.93 at Whole Foods.

Doiron's family grows a variety of produce, including tomatoes, potatoes, onions, various greens, beans, squash, herbs, and other things, in about 1600 square feet/148.644 square meters of growing space, which is quite large. In our own yard we had one 36 square feet/3.34450 square meter bed of growing space last year and had plenty of tomatoes, peppers, and herbs to last us for a couple months. This year we'll have 153 square feet/14.21 square meters and plan to grow a larger variety of produce. We're also going to try to extend the season with the cold frames that my husband built. I'm looking forward to getting our garden started this spring and enjoying even more savings in our food budget. We don't grow as much as Doiron does, but we believe every little bit helps, and his chart is proof of the economic benefits of growing our own produce.

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This post was written by Andrea

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So You Wanna Blog?

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I've been food blogging since for almost three years and what I thought was going to be a passtime has turned out to be a passion, a living entity and something that consumes alot of personal time.

If you're thinking about starting a blog, there are no real rules but there are some things you should consider, some tips to better blogging and some behaviour you should avoid.

So, you've started a blog - GREAT! Congratulations. What's your blog's purpose? Who's your audience? Do you have the time to write? What will the frequency of your posts be? There's a blog for everybody and for every interest so now that you've started a blog, you have some responsibility. There will be followers of your blog who expect a routine, a schedule or some regular posts from you. Set the pace of your blog early.

Stay on topic, don't make your blog too long winded and be yourself. Don't try to discuss something beyond your boundaries/limits and if you do...do your homework. If your blog has photos, try and use your photos and if using others' photos, seek permission before using and heaven forbid...DO NOT use something elses' writings and pass it off as your own...you'll get busted real soon and your blog will be viewed by little.

Everyone wants traffic, comments on their blog, right? We all want attention, encouragement, acknowledgement. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. When I first started my blog, no one knew I existed...until I started commenting on other blogs. Circulate. Leave comments, leave genuine comments on posts that truly interest you. That's one of the best and easiest ways to draw traffic to your site. It's time consuming but it works. Once you've developed a knack for content and photography, you'll rely less on "marketing" your blog.

If you're going to choose controversial topics, expect to take some heat and be prepared for the good, the bad & the ugly. It's your blog, you do what you want but sometimes one can stray into dangerous territory. I recently got notice of a blog that dared to discuss the topic of circumcision and sure enough, a flame war commenced in the comments section and talk of banning people, deleting and name calling ensued. Not cool.

Which brings me to the topic of leaving comments. As a blogger, most of you will write posts and also visit other sites and leave comments. Give opinions, be a critic, correct an erroe and of course, give praise but whatever you do, behave as though you were a guest in someone's house. Being rude will get you uninvited, so to speak.

One general type of behaviour that will alienate you is to leave lame comments that are barely sentences and thir only purpose is to draw traffic to your site. People can see righ through a comment like, "This is delish and you should come visit me at www.mysite.com and the link below". For all intents & purposes, you morphed from a blogger to a SPAMMER.

The majority of bloggers in the food community are wonderful, nurturing people and I have qualms with few but with every community, there are some bad apples. The majority write entertaining, informative posts, some delicious foods, decent photography and posts are written at a consistent clip.

Find your niche, be yourself, be honest, treat your readers like your entertaining at your home, you'll find your style, you'll find an audience and ultimately you'll have a living, breathing entity called a blog with fans, readers, supporters. A little nook in the corner of the blogosphre.

This post was written by Peter Minakis

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Teaching Daddy a thing or two...

When I was a child, my parents liked to take credit for everything that I knew – as if they taught me all that I know. I do not dispute the fact that I learnt a lot from my parents. I learnt everything from the importance of good manners to the correct utensils to use at formal meals. I was taught math during rides in the car and picked up early cooking tips from helping Mom in the kitchen. But I learned a lot of things, including many life lessons, on my own. I often wonder if my parents learnt anything from me when I was young.

When I became a father myself, I persevered in the belief that I would need to teach my son and daughter everything and that there was no way that I could possibly learn anything from them. How wrong I have been! Aside from the unquestionable fact that my children have taught me to be a father, a skill that I had no prior knowledge off, they have taught me so much more.

At the age of two, my son developed a fascination for animals. In an attempt to cultivate this interest, both his Mother and I bought him numerous books. Through reading to him, I have learnt of animals that I never knew existed. I have learnt of the Jerboa, Hyrax and Okapi in Africa. I have learnt of the difference between alligators and crocodiles. I have learnt about Pandas, Polar Bears, Grizzly bears and Kodiak bears. Did you know that Polar bears are only found in the Arctic and not the Antarctic? I have even learnt the difference between the African and Asian elephants. What else have I learnt? I have learned about dinosaurs – something that I had no knowledge of nor interest in before. My son has become a walking encyclopaedia on dinosaurs and I have been forced to learn just to keep up with him.

My daughter has taught me some words in Spanish. She loves the cartoon Dora the Explorer and picked up some Spanish words that she has passed on to her Mother and me. Just like dinosaurs with my son, I have been forced to keep learning Spanish words just to keep up with her. My daughter loves to read and every car ride is filled with questions of how to pronounce certain words she sees on road signs and billboards. This has taught me patience and reinforced the fact that every situation can be a learning opportunity. My daughter loves art and craft and I have learnt that I am really not such a klutz when it comes to handicraft!

I have learnt that imagination knows no boundaries and I have learnt how to use imagination not just as a toy but also as a way to broaden the kids’ minds. I have learnt the joys of just being silly together with my children and learning how to laugh at ourselves.

I have learnt that the mind of a child is like a sponge. They absorb everything they see and hear. I have learnt that children develop at a phenomenal rate and that not providing them sufficient mental stimulus is akin to not providing them enough food. I have learnt the importance of cultivating their interests and taking an active interest in it myself. By doing so I am able to learn things I never knew before. And would probably never know at all.

I have learned to ignore the age-old adage – ‘children should be seen and not heard’ – rather I encourage them to ask whatever they want and try to find an answer to their questions.

Perhaps the greatest lesson that my two children have taught me is how to appreciate the gifts and blessings that God has given us. They have taught me to be thankful for what we have. They have taught me that life is made precious by the things we often take for granted – love, laughter, health and the warmth and security of a happy home. They have taught me to leave my worries outside the front door and to come back home with a clear head and a light heart. They have taught me that the sweetest sound a father could ever hear is the sound of his children’s laughter – especially when he is the one that makes them laugh.

We have been blessed with two remarkable children – a son and a daughter. They have taught me so much in such a short time and I can’t wait for them to teach me even more.

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This post was written by Dharm

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COMPASSION, SENSITIVITY ... & CHILDREN!

"The future belongs to those who give the next generation reason for hope."

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
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India has been in the news on the book & film front of late, & this time, the underdog & poverty are coming to the forefront. Am currently reading Aravind Adiga’s The White Tiger (Winner of the 2008 Man Booker Prize), which talks about India’s underbelly, dominated by poverty, in a really engaging narrative. I’m halfway through the book & admire the way this young man presents his story; fiction, but for us living here, very much the reality!

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We are also just back from seeing Danny Boyle's 'Slumdog Millionaire', a low budget, love story, with all the trappings of a typical Indian masala film. Inquisitive to feel the hype for ourselves, we were astounded & amazed at the film. Perfect in every frame, fast paced, technically good, & above all touching the life of the common man in Mumbai, sometimes in a heart-wrenching manner. For me, it was the heart that beats. A film that left me with mixed raw emotions, so much poverty, so much deceit in the underbelly, so much despair, but then again, hope conquers all as the film wraps up.

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Why am I talking about this?

It’s about sensitivity & compassion - To accept what we know, to open a window for the children to step out of their protected spheres, & look at other aspects of life. We took the kids to see the film with us, despite many telling us that the language was inappropriate etc. But reality is reality, & when presented in such a cutting edge manner, it is imperative that we appreciate life in every avatar, & learn compassion. The film was a lesson of life delivered in just 2 hours. In a nutshell…touching! Here is a small story about little Rahul. The past few days I’ve been going to the bus-stop to drop the son for school as it’s been foggy every morning. Each day we wait at the stop, & alongside is a little temporary shanty where a man sits by a small wood fire, boiling milk & making chapattis/flatbread, with a toddler in his lap. It’s freezing cold, but the man, who is a watchman / chowkidar, follows the same routine every morning, & the little kid adoringly follows his father. My son watches with me, & last night I found him diving into his toy box. He was quite affected by the daily scenes, more so after watching the film. He pulled out some toys, & asked his sister to put a bag together for the little fellow. We dropped the stuff by this morning…the JOY on the little mites' face was untold. He first stared at us unbelieving, then gently came up & took this car, & the other stuff. The next 10-15 minutes were pure happiness for both father & son. The father, passionate in his care for the boy, heated the little ones shoes in front of the flickering flames, before putting them on the bare feet.
My heart is heavy, but I’m glad my kids feel compassion, & understand economic & social disparity in their own small ways. It’s little things that make a difference, & hopefully many of ours will lead to change the world one day.

"Compassion is the radicalism of our time."

HH the Dalai Lama

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This post was written by Deeba /p>

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