Quick Parenting Tip: Consequences

Friday, October 02, 2009

Posted by Indian Food Rocks

I recently joined a book group organized by the Parent Engagement Network of our local school district where we are reading Please Stop the Rollercoaster by Sue Blaney. It is different from most other book groups as we are going to read just this one book, chapter by chapter. Book groups for this particular book have morphed into parent support groups, as we struggle to deal with the world of our growing teens and tweens. I am looking forward to sharing some of the nuggets I come away with here on The Daily Tiffin, the first of which is:

Raising our children to be independent responsible adults is a common goal that all parents share. Consequence is a lesson they need to learn early in life so that they are able to make better choices for themselves as they grow. We were talking about simple things that result in an extra chore for Mom or Dad to do like:

  • not waking up in time and missing the bus
  • forgetting to take homework or books to school
  • forgetting to bring their books home from school
  • forgetting their lunchbox at home
  • and so on.
All the above result in either Mom or Dad having to drop what they are doing and drive an additional amount to bail their kids out. Some kids need this kind of support on a daily basis - almost. That is where consequences comes in. One parent says she has an understanding with her kids where she allows them one rescue per month, or she charges them $1 per event from their allowance. This seems to work very well for them but it did not appeal to me as the underlying message is that you can buy yourself out of trouble.

Another suggestion that was put forth resonated well with me: the child takes on additional chores for the amount of time that her parent had to take out of his/her day to bail the kid out. My time for your time and the exchange must take place on the day that the support was required. This reinforces the value of time and also ensures that parental support is not taken for granted.

Do you have any tips that work well for you in such scenarios?

This post was written by Manisha

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